An end-of-year tradition has become the making of lists. I have one – top of the head (and of the moment - I might possibly be leaving something out - as memory is tricky), but about turning points in my life. This end-of-year tradition is good enough timing for me even if most end-of-year lists attempt to define the closing year (or decade etc.) or somehow to place a particular focus on certain events in the past year. These lists tend to be “best” lists, though more and more there seems to be a trend toward “favorites” or most this or that lists. The number of things listed is arbitrary - ten wasn't enough - I settled for 12 but even that wasn't quite enough.
My list is both more simple and more complex and has nothing in 
particular to do with the past year or decade, etc. Perhaps the passing of my life but not really as intend to live through additional decades. My list is about influences or “turning points.” My list is one of writings, events, music that caused a profound change in my outlook, my actions, my habits. Mostly I am (as yet) unable to articulate the changes beyond the simple realization that the items on the list changed the direction of my life.
As an example, as a boy well into puberty (I don’t remember my age), I once stumbled across a little bookstore in Odessa, Texas that was all within a single room of a house. I liked to read (had learned to read “The Little Red Hen” before first grade). I remember that I was on my way to a school event and was early with time to spare and I stayed in the bookstore looking at the books. One book – I have no idea what t
he title was or who wrote it – caught my attention and as I read about boys and masturbation I suddenly knew that my own world was a world inhabited by others who also had similar experiences and concerns. It changed my life utterly – knowing that I wasn’t some weirdness on the flotsam of humanity. But enough. Dear readers (if such I have) here is the very personal list of the most life-changing events during my 60+ odd years:
1. Some book (title and author unknown) read in a little bookstore in Odessa, Texas (see above).
2. Something of Value, a movie directed by Richard Brooks
3. Report to Greco and Zorba the Greek, books by Nikos Kazantzakis
4. The History of Western Philosophy, a book by Bertrand Russell
5. Jules et Jim, a movie directed by François Truffaut (starring Jeanne Moreau, Oskar Werner, and Henri Serre)
6. This is It and Other Essays, a book by Alan Watts
7. The Lost Son and Other Poems, a collection of poetry by Theodore Rothke
8. Thus Spake Zarathustra, a book by Friedrich Nietzsche
9. Siddartha and Demian, books by Hermann Hesse
10. The poetry of Yevgeny Yevtushenko
11. The poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay
12. The Searchers, a movie directed by John Ford
I could have also included the 1969 "People's Park" March in Berkeley or the late '60's Veterans Peace March in San Francisco with a handful of veterans of the Spanish American War. Something about those will need to wait for possible future postings. Also, this is not a list of favorites - I would include many different movies, books and poems. Any such lists must also be separate posts.
